How dogs are made and George got his looks

Whist there are many rumours as to the origins of the canine species, there is one story that purports to have been handed down over the generations direct from the Great Kennel.  This is that puppies are fashioned now, as they have been since the beginning of time, by the Big Dog himself.

According to our canine forefathers, each day the Big Dog rummages into the darkest, most remote cave-like extremities of his celestial Kennel and there, from mighty sacks of parts, he fashions new puppies in readiness to be placed with their canine parents when he decides the time is right.

Early in the week, so the tale continues, the most perfect-looking dogs are fashioned, but as the week draws on a degree of compromise may be necessary for supplies dwindle and parts from different breeds may have to be matched together, or small adjustments made.  However, these are not necessarily detrimental to the recipients, for many are endowed with a beauty of appearance or a gentleness of nature that is all their own.  But as the week  draws to its conclusion the story can be very different, for sometimes there are few parts left.

And so it happened that on the day George was made, when the Big Dog went to the bag there was very little left to choose from.

The Big Dog plunged his mighty paw deep down into the furthest corners of the great sack and although it seemed he might find nothing at all, eventually after much rummaging, he pulled out a smallish head, instantly recognisable as that of a Jack Russell Terrier.

A further search produced what at first sight seemed to be nothing more than the pelt of an old badger, though further examination suggested .. it might be the coat of a Border Terrier, rejected earlier in the week as not good enough for use.   Nevertheless, it did appear to be exceptionally thick and warm, which might compensate for its coarse raggedness.

But what should go between the body and head?  Even deeper delving eventually revealed half the bright white ruff of a collie – well that would do with a bit of a fur for the other side teased out to balance the appearance of the ruff.  Not as luxuriant but no doubt it would suffice.

Then four stumpy little legs (luckily in the circumstances all were matching) and a rather large tail appeared from the bag and were easily attached to the nearly completed body.  Now the Big Dog had only to do the finishing touches.  This puppy was to be a boy, but the testicles that came out of the bag must have been left overs from the Rottweiler sack, and out of all proportion to the poor little dog, as would become apparent when he arrived on earth, for his little back legs could barely curve around them.  The Big Dog returned to look for something better but the sack appeared to be quite empty.  Shaken upside-down some minute articles dropped out – four minuscule dew-claws – how were there four?  Perhaps some poor dog earlier in the week had none.  These were all attached in order to leave things tidy and George, as he was to become, was placed with a number of other embryonic puppies to wait until a mother dog was ready for them to be delivered.

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