Arnie’s Diary

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5th August 2011

Ha! Good day today!  In fact an excellent one!

Mum suddenly bundled George and me into the car and we were off.  I couldn’t work out exactly where we were going to start with but it seemed familiar and when we stopped and I was let out it all came back to me in an instant.  It was some years since we had been before but I wasn’t about to forget the adventure I had that time in a hurry and if I could just remember how I got out of that garden …..

When I came last time it was raining and I was let out in the garden to have a wee, so I had time for a bit of private exploration, but this time it was lovely and sunny and we were all out in the garden together.  Mum was quite determined to keep me on my flexi-lead but her friend Lalage looked a softer touch, so I turned the full force of my will-power and charm on her and sure enough within moments she was pleading with Mum for my release, saying that as they were all outside I wouldn’t have the chance to disappear.  How I Smirked!  So anyway, Mum took off my lead,– although I felt she did it somewhat begrudgingly.  She should know by now that I can look after myself.

Well, Lalage offered Mum a cup of coffee and Mum turned round to ask if she could put the kettle on, by which time I had taken advantage of the opportunity to melt out of their lives for a short while.  I can tell you, I had a whale of a time hunting in the fields – well they seem to call it ‘Prey Diet’ these days according to George’s forum, but personally I call it ‘pick-your-own’ – much better than the boring old stuff mum gives us

Well after an appetiser of a few small mice and voles along with some VERY small shrews, I had a jolly good explore.  I found loads of places I hadn’t discovered last time, including a wonderful stream, perfect for a nice drink and a good splash around, followed by a great roll.  Mum is such a bore – she always makes me wash after a roll.  What a waste of a good ripe fragrance – at least I could do it the right way round today and all those exciting scents could soak into my nice damp fur.  Soon I was steaming away gloriously in the warm sun contemplating sourcing a couple of rabbits for my main course, which I would follow up with a good sleep in a warm spot … ahhh for the life for a dog!

Well, it was some time later when I woke up and realised all seemed rather quiet – no lively chatter coming from the garden, or grumbling from George because he had been left behind, so decided I’d best nip back to the car and make out I’d been waiting there all the time – only when I get there it had gone!  Well, experience had taught me that they would always come back for me, so I sat and waited happily enough, with my nice full tummy and still surrounded by the interesting smells coming from my coat.  I was just starting to ponder the wisdom of my actions when I heard the car, so I started doing my best to look as if I’d been waiting hours …

Mum stopped and popped me in the back, where she’d kindly put my dinner and then went to speak to her friend.  I have to say that I wasn’t very hungry at this stage, but it was kindly meant, so I did my best.

On the way home Mum did have a bit of a grumble about walking miles – and come to think of it I did see her going up and down the road a few times, but didn’t realise it had anything to do with me – and if I’m honest, I didn’t hang around long enough to find out – it really is time she learned to trust me and I don’t think she meant it in the least when she said that when I hadn’t come back she hoped someone had taken me in.  Bet she wouldn’t have put one of those tag things on my collar if she really wanted to get rid of me

Anyway got to go now as I have a couple of dinners and a few snackerals to sleep off and my poor old tum does feel a bit tight …

Mmmm….. I hope she’ll let me run free again soon.



I hardly ever get a chance to sit on the settee with mother  these days – it is always monopolised by George – who is forever trying to ingratiate himself with her – I think she allows it as she has more control over him that way – I don’t need so much supervision!

Anyway the other day I noticed she (mother) had unearthed one of the chews that I had buried under the settee and an idea came to me (an old ploy that I have used successfully in the past).  I picked up a chew, looked at the settee where George was lying and dropped it – in an instant he had leapt down and went to pick it up.  All to quickly mother snatched it up as she doesn’t like him giving me to hard a time (little does she know) took it away and threw it on my bed.

George resumed his position and I immediately went across to my bed.  To mother’s surprise instead of getting in it and making the most of having got my chew back I picked it up and walked back to the settee where I again dropped it.  George was on it in a flash and I was able to carry out my initial intention – I immediately jumped up and snuggled down into the warm patch on the cushions vacated by George – while George was left standing, chew in mouth and nowhere to go which was quite funny – though I know it is mean to gloat

Mother laughed as she realised that this had been my intention in the first place.  She doesn’t always give me credit!!

7th February 2011

You will never belive it – Mother has only made us write that we love her on our front page – it isn’t that we don’t but having to write it on the front page  …  I ask you?

1st January 2011

As ever Mother has NOT HAD THE TIME to do my typing - AND she sent George and me to kennels for Christmas while she went away – but she did leave us some pretty good prezzies!

Morris Men taking a break for mince-pies and mulled wine

Morris Men taking a break for mince-pies and mulled wine

Today the Morris Men came – you would have thought it was a party in the road outside!  Most of the neighbours were there and lots of friends as well. Mother was rushing round with trays of mince-pies and mulled wine so George and I kept well out of the way – better to be hanging over the fence anyway to see what was going on.  There was a table set up just down the road and people were going and helping themselves to those lovely crispy looking pastries and my mouth was watering – it was cruel! .They told me I couldn’t have one because they had something called ‘sultanas’ in them and that they would be harmful to me – I don’t think so!  But Mother has asked me to include this harmful food link

7th December 2010

Yesterday Mother forgot to put our food away when she gave us our dinner which meant the food cupboard wasn’t shut so had a quick sneaky-peak inside – nothing really interesting but thought it might be worth investigating the bird food. There wasn’t much of an opening to the bag so thought I might just ease it a bit so I could get my nose in for a small sample.

Somehow things got a bit out of control and the blinking stuff started gushing out onto the floor – tried to stop it but not before it had spread itself around a bit.  Guessed this was not going to go down to well with mother so decided it was best to try and get rid of the evidence and started to gulp it down as fast as possible. Then lay on bed looking innocent – have had plenty of practice at this so have got it off to a fine art.

Later Mother went into the kitchen and saw what she referred to somewhat ominously as ‘The Mess’.  She didn’t seem best pleased for some reason (she should have seen it before I cleared it up!)

Well this morning she asked me if I was feeling a bit seedy and laughed in a way I somehow didn’t quite like – don’t know why. Don’t understand humans half the time.  As far as I’m concerned they use too many words and their body language can be pretty confusing too – s’pose it comes of not having proper ears and tails like us.

Anyway I had a bit of a tummy ache so I was pretty pleased to get out for a poo, then a few more – they did look a bit funny – all speckley. Mother laughed again and said that in spring everyone would wonder where the exotic plants had come from. Huh? Humans! – I ask you?

6th November 2010

Mum was RIGHT – have been playing with the big wobbly Kong thing and if you keep knocking it around it spits out kibble – I ask you how cool is that?
5th November 2010
Today was my 8th Birthday
I have to say that I think the best thing about the day has been almost no fireworks!  Probably because it was so wet and foggy no-one could see them – I could hardly see my own feet by the end of our afternoon walk – OK for George his eyes are only a few inches above his.

Friends came round this evening with a prezzy of yummy biscuits which I managed to open for myself!   Then the humans all had a glass of wine, nibbles and cake, while George and I  had peanut butter treats – so I think they may have done better out of my birthday than I did.  Huh!

Mum has bought me a big wobbly Kong ‘to make my meal times more interesting’ – sounds like pretty hard work to me but Mum says she thinks I  will enjoy the challenge!

19th June 2010
Arnie and Mouse on the grass

Mouse 'n' me

Mother  has been to busy to help me with my diary recently but went to agility today – higher class no less –  and she actually got her hands sorted out which meant I could do a  good round LOL (this is something Mother keeps using on the Forum she is always writing on – it means I am joking –

not being big headed – but I was pretty smart!)

Julia thought I was OK too – she has persuaded M. to take me to the more advanced class all the time and then she took a pic of me with her dog Mouse who is sooo cool!

10th March 2010

Today I went Tracking – it was at Julia’s place but Lin from Club was teaching which was pretty cool as she said “Hello Arnie” but had to ask the names of all the rest of us – made me feel pretty good!

Anyway it was one of the scrummiest bits of training I’ve ever done – first Lin then mother had to trample down a square of grass and put food all over it before sending me to find it – how good can that be?  Easy too, especially as I was watching where they put it in the first place.

After doing this a few times they left food for us where they’d walked as well.  I swear my nose must’ve grown at least six inches.  Needless to say I volunteered to clear up the field afterwards, but they made me go home.


22nd March 2010

Went to Club last night – what they call ‘Test Night’ – bit of a swizz really as you have to do all your work with no treats!  Actually I suppose that’s why it’s testing

Anyway I got one of those ribbon things – blue – so Mother aws pretty pleased and gave me loads of cheese so I guess it was worth it

27th March 2010
Picture showing outline of excercise

Figure of eight round cones - starting and ending on table

Pretty good morning at Sandhills – well I did OK although Mother got her hands mixed up – had to start on the table and work round cones in a figure-of-eight with hand changes to keep me on the right side.  Pity Mother doesn’t know left from right!

Diagram of Arnie's alternative route

Arnie's alternative route

Next did the ‘A’ frame – ‘easy-peesy-lemon-squeezy’ – and great fun looking down on everyone!

Then a couple of little jumps and the tunnel – took the opportunity to do a quick run up the ‘A’ frame – everyone thought that was pretty cool though some laughed, which I didn’t like,  Mother wasn’t so amused – said it was a disobedience and refused to give me treats.
Mean or what!

30th March 2010

Picture of The Dogbrella

The Dogbrella

The Dogbrella

Wet … wet … wet

Every time I go out it rains – not when George goes just me – anyway soon I will have webbed feet but in the meantime I have invented the ‘Dogbrella’ – please note how it slopes gently at the front so as not to stop me sniffing and channels the water away to the back

You can attach a lead to the loop on top – not that I need one – I am perfectly able to find my way home at the end of the day!  Though for some reason Mother doesn’t approve of this – can’t understand her need for control!!

13th April 2010

Back to Sandhills today with great memories of recent ‘tracking’ activities – got my head straight down and sniffing for cheesy trails.  Must have missed something along the line because I suddenly noticed Mother was starting an obstacle course with one of those meaningful “I’ve been talking to you” looks on her face!

Listening to her talking to Julia after class I think I may have blown my chances of doing any more tracking……

20th April 2010

Let me put my head in a box or something – everyone is talking about Britain’s Got Talent and that bloomin’ Chandi prancing around on her back legs like that – its nothing.  Even I could do it if Mother could just get her hands and feet sorted out!

29th April 2010

Let off lead today – chased deer – didn’t see them, but fun looking – then went to dig for foxes – barked for George to join me, which he did for a bit – then he went back to Mother – the goody –goody!.  After a while I thought I heard her saying “home” but my head was down the hole, so couldn’t be sure – thought best to just keep digging.

Much later defo heard her – gave a few barks to invite her to join me – I needed some help by then as I was pretty knackered and still hadn’t got the fox out of its hole.

Mum wouldn’t come down – just yelled that she had heard me, but I was to go to her (some Mothers …) So I went to find her – hadn’t noticed how tired I was and my left shoulder was sooo sore I could hardly walk.  George heard me first and made Mum stop and wait.  She looked so pleased to see me and gave me loads of icy cold sausage which was yummy scrummy and did a lot to help me get back on my feet.  Then she took me to a tiny stream, so I had a drink and lay down in it, which helped my poor shoulder.

Thought I might not get home, but it started to ease with ordinary walking and when I got back she stood me in a big bucket of cold water, which helped my aching joints and sore feet – then she wrapped me in a lovely big, warm, fluffy towel and I slept all afternoon.

2nd May 2010

The Dogbrella Range

The Dogbrella Range

Another wet day – first in ages – so perhaps I can get some interest in the ‘Dogbrella’ at last; during the warm days I have been building up what Mother says they call the RANGE.

Talking of Mother, she is being a real pain, wanting to keep me on a lead, when I can well look after myself and now she won’t let me go on Dragons’ Den to get money to take forward the ‘Dogbrella’.  And in addition George (little Mummy’s boy) refused to model them.  Not that he’s really got the looks.  To show them at their best they need to be demo’d by someone with a good physique like mine.  Hmmm perhaps I should approach Toffee, if I can persuade Mother to apply for us to go on Dragons’ Den – and Jake might want to take on an outlet in France ……………

Oh dear I think I am starting to dream – so tired today didn’t even want to walk!  Perhaps a little nap …….

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